would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize
