I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
i love accidental penises.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
