How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
