i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
