omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
