She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
