May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize