can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Randomize
