I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
