I feel like I'm in dance class right now
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
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