look no pants
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
True strength comes from lack of pants
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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