is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Randomize