gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Actions speak louder than pants.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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