She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
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