omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
