my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
i dont even know how to be here
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Randomize
