Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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