redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
