this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
