you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
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Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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