Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize