The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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