My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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