How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
