That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize
