Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
you never un-have a 4some
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
