i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
She tied me up with her honor cords...
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
