Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize
