shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
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