just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize