I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
