Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
