I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
This toilet bowl is my home.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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