i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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