I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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