i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Mom said you looked used
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize