wrigley field is MILF paradise
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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