You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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