I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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