I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize
