i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
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Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
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I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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