Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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