your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
You made out with two different species that night
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
