Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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