and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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