I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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