toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Drunk is not a location!
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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