mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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