I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
