I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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