he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Randomize
