We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Randomize
