So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
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