I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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