Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
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