I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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