No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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