he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Randomize
